Get your $500 ethernet cable before they're gone!

>> Sunday, June 22, 2008

I don't usually post things I see over on Boing Boing, as I figure enough attention has been called to them. But today there was an absolutely hysterical post that had me crying, and I wanted to share this with anybody who hasn't seen it.

So over on, there's a listing for a $500 Denon "Dedicated Link Cable." In other words, it's a $500 ethernet cable, exactly like the $5 version you most likely have sticking out of the back of your computer. The effrontery of selling a $5 cable for $500 is priceless enough--but what you have to read are the reviews and the tags sarcastic shoppers have given this rip-off. The 147 reviews. I tell you, when the interweb snarks come after you, watch out. Here are some of my favorite "reviews":

I accidentally dropped one end of my Denon cable into a glass of Tuscan whole milk I was drinking. Later when I finished my milk (yeah, I still drank it; should I not have done that?) my right arm (lost in an accident in 1987) spontaneously grew back. Is that normal?

When my girlfriend found out I spent $500 on a cable she was a little upset. In fact, she beat me with them so badly I was in a coma for six months. When I awoke in the hospital things had changed - she used to look like Rosie O'Donnell, but now she looks like Jessica Alba! This cable has made a huge difference, Thanks Denon!!!!

After taking out a third mortgage and selling the last of our children, I was finally able to afford this cable. The entire family was gathered around in the living room as I was getting in position to plug the cable in. I think grandma almost fainted from the excitement. As soon as the first strains of the Miley Cyrus "See You Again" MP3 came pouring out of the speakers, Dad's shirt disintegrated and the cat burst into flames. This cable is truly amazing!

I bought one of these with my stimulus check, highly worth it!

The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.

This cable made my David Hasselhoff CD sound like William Shatner! My only disappointment was in having too much of a good thing.

The product page at Amazon also has 140 tags, including:

snake oil (294)
ripoff (264)
cheat (138)
harry potter (32)
a fine product indeed (3)
astronomically dumb (3)
as effective as using dog hair (2)
audiofool hardware (2)
i can not believe it is not butter (2)
iq test (2)
tax on the stupid (2)
wizards_made_th is (2)
alpha centari (1)
bacon (1)
chuck norris (1)

If the great reviews have you interested, you'll be happy to know that Amazon offers this high-quality cord at a discount. That's right, it's usually $500, but Amazon is now able to offer it at the low, low price of $499. With free shipping, of course.

Check out the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable product page before it's gone . . .


simone June 24, 2008 at 10:47 PM  

That is so funny. Too bad Amazon took it down. I'm listening to the new David Sedaris book right now, but this is just as good.

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