Sorry, no Project Runway precap...

Hello, faithful readers! Many of you are probably tuning in today to read our precap for the first episode of the new season of Project Runway, which begins today.

But there isn't a precap.

It was a difficult decision, but we're not going to preview this season of Project Runway. (Please, please! Put away the pitchforks!) Yes, we suffered from bland-fatigue last season, as so many others did, but that's not why we're bailing. We're guardedly optimistic about this new season, and certainly willing to tune in to the show and then read the snarky reviews from all our favorite recappers.

But Real Life, as they say on the interwebs, has intervened. In a good way, to be sure, but it has intervened, nonetheless.

You see, we're going to Japan for two months! Woohoo! You can read all the details here. It was a somewhat sudden thing, but when an opportunity like this comes along, you put everything else aside and you just do it. Consequently, we'll be leaving before the end of the new Project Runway season, and we wouldn't be able to finish what we began if we started the precaps up again.

We also have day jobs (of sorts), which we still have to do until we leave for Japan. Which means that our Japan trip-planning has to happen in the evenings after work, which is, traditionally, when we've written up all those lengthy Project Runway posts--to the tune of 7-8 hours a week working on them. (Yikes!) Simply put, if we didn't spend that time getting ready for what might possibly be the trip of a lifetime, we would never forgive ourselves.

And so many of the things we do with our free time around here have to be put on hold, Project Runway precaps among them.

We're truly sorry to disappoint those of you who stuck with us through thick and thin (lots and lots of thin), and we really appreciate all your support and your kind comments and your feedback during the past few seasons. Thanks too to the great folks at Blogging Project Runway, who have been tireless supporters of our previewing efforts. We hope to be back at it next season--another possibly life-changing event not withstanding.

In the meantime, let's start the show!

Read more...

Project Runway 6 - Finale Preview

"Hello, Angels..."

So here we are. The Project Runway Season 6 Finale. Sigh. The finale seemed so much more fun the first time we covered it.

 

Perhaps the least fashionable thing to walk down the runway that day.

What, you weren't with us then? Gratz Industries field reporter Alan scored a ticket to the season finale at Bryant Park last February, and filed this report. We'll give you a moment to go and read.

Back already? Hmm. Well, personally, we're interested to see how we picked up on a couple of little things that we only now understand, post season. We'll get to those after the break. First, a brief recap.

We skipped our usual pre-precap recap (say that ten times fast) of the Getty challenge last week since there wasn't very much to predict in the first part of the finale. (Also, we weren't sure we could keep this a family blog and still talk about Gordana's aufing.) Not surprisingly, there isn't very much to report.

The highlights: Irina can't use trademarked material on the t-shirts no one is going to see beneath her outfits.

 

Seriously. What happened to this dress, featured prominently during Tim's visit?

Althea's original looks aren't working, so she shows up in New York with a line that is practically interchangeable with Irina's.

 

Carol Hannah, meanwhile, is dying a slow, painful death from the Black Plague. Which leaves Althea and Irina more time to bond! Here's a sample:

 

Althea: So, hey.

Irina: Hey.

Irina: ...

Althea: ...

Scintillating. We were almost beginning to wonder if the producers had jumped Carol Hannah in the hall and were sitting on her until these two started scratching each others eyes out. They couldn't get them drunk enough though, so they sent them to the workroom where they could continue to give each other surreptitious looks and mumble things about each other.

 Irina: Way to copy everything I do, Thiefy McCopycat.

Althea: What?

Irina: Hmm? Oh, nothing.

Althea: ...

Honestly, we're making this more exciting than it really was.

 

"I swear, Carol Hannah, you just get taller and taller every time I see you!

In a few years you'll be as big as I am."

Luckily, the producers are able to prop up Carol Hannah and wheel her in on a dress form base, and we finally have somebody who will talk in the workroom.

 

Lady Skeletor is not amused, ladies.

Michael and Nina show up to give some helpful advice like, "Don't use all black!" You can practically read the thought bubble over Irina's rolling eyes: "Thanks for telling me that NOW." Tim and Heidi are the next celebrity couple to visit, and surprise, the designers will have to create a 13th look. Do the producers coach these guys to look surprised, or did the designers really not see this coming?

 

"Hey guys! Epperson, Shirin, and Ra'mon were busy, so they sent us."

The designers get a little help though. Althea picks first, and of course takes...Logan!? Althea, you do understand he and his silver jeans will not be appearing on the runway with you, right? Okay. Your choice. Irina snatches up Gordana, and Carol Hannah ends up with Christopher. That may actually be a serendipitous pairing, as Christopher seems like a good guy to have giving you pep talks when all you want to do is crawl back into bed and die.

"Crying's fine--just hold the spew until I can get you to the bathroom."

Off the teams go to Mood, and the construction of the 13th looks begins. Back at the ranch, Carol Hannah's plague resurfaces, and she spends what should be the most exciting night of her life hunched over a toilet.

That's as good a segue as any to final Big Board of Shame™ for Season 6!

The judges didn't see fit to award a winner last week--probably because they decided to auf the winning dress, and couldn't decide what to do after that. Irina got a pass for her Slimer dress, Carol Hannah got a pass for a nice dress that had nothing whatever to do with her inspiration, and Althea was given a lifetime achievement award in lieu of actually having a top three dress that week. Gordana probably wishes someone would have told her there was no way she could win, that way she could have just sat around the workroom and relaxed instead of making a dress. Maybe taken a nap. Christopher gave it the old I-didn't-go-to-college try, but his moss-covered stone didn't roll.

So what do we do? Christopher and Gordana are both auf, so -4s for each of them. But what about the three going to Bryant Park? Don't the show-runners realize we have a system here? Apparently not.

We're not feeling particularly charitable about any of their final looks, but Althea's was clearly the worst. We're tempted to give her negative points for essentially having the third worst dress of the week (according to the judges) but it's hard to give negative points to someone chosen to go to Bryant Park. We'll give her just 2 points, and give the others 3 each. Call it a tie for second, with no winner. Or something. Bleh.

Irina: 28 points (Three 1st places, Three 2nd places, One 3rd place, Five safes)

Carol Hannah: 23 points (One 1st place, Three 2nd places, Two 3rd places, Six safes)
Althea: 23 points (Two 1st places, One 2nd place, Three 3rd places, Six safes)

--------------aufed--------------

Shirin: 8 points (One 1st place, One 3rd place, Six safes, One Auf)

Epperson: 6 points (One 2nd place, One 3rd place, Five safes, One Auf)
Gordana: 3 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, One 3rd place, Five safes, Two 3rd worsts, One 2nd worsts, One Auf)

Ra'mon: 3 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, Two safes, One 3rd worst, One Auf)
Nicolas: 0 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, Four safes, Two 3rd worsts, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Johnny: 0 points (One 2nd place, One 3rd place, One safe, One 3rd worst, One Auf)
Louise: -1 point (One 3rd place, Four safes, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Malvin: -3 points (One safe, One Auf)
Christopher: -4 points (One 1st place, Two 2nd places, Three safes, Two 3rd worsts, Three 2nd worsts, One Auf)
Ari: -4 points (One Auf)
Logan: -8 points (Six safes, Two 3rd worsts, Two 2nd worsts, One Auf)
Qristyl: -8 points (One safe, One 3rd worst, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Mitchell: -10 points (Two 2nd worsts, One Auf)

Scoring: 1st place (4 pts), 2nd place (3 pts), 3rd place (2 pts), Safe (1 pt), 3rd worst (-2 pts), 2nd worst (-3 pts), Aufed (-4 pts)

 Annotated Big Board:

- We'll start with Gordana, who probably should have won that last challenge. At the very least, she shouldn't have to take the full brunt of an aufing in her point totals. But an auf is an auf, and she's really auf. She ends up tied for third among the dearly departed.

- The best of the rest? Shirin. Consider what a final challenge would have been like with her and Epperson, your #2 aufed designer, in place of Christopher and Gordana, and you'll begin to have a vision of the lost season that might have been.

- Christopher's turn to the Dark Side--or at least negative territory--is complete. He came into the last challenge at an even zero, and his aufing seals his official Big Board record at -4. After rising as high as first by mid-season, he is now tied with Ari, of all people. Talk about coming full circle...

- Althea slips back with Carol Hannah--or Carol Hannah steps up with Althea, whichever way you want to look at it. Either way, Irina's got a decent lead on them going into the finale.

And finally, we're not the first to note that Irina, Althea, and Carol Hannah all made it to Bryant Park without ending up in the bottom three once all season. (Again, you can debate the Althea/Gordana thing all you want, but we have a hard time putting her in a "bottom three" when she was one of the three chosen to go to Fashion Week.) This was strange, we thought--three finalists who have never been in the bottom three all season long. Had that ever happened before? Had anyone ever made it to Bryant Park without hitting the bottom three all season long? Do we have answers for you, true believers?

Of course we do. A bit of digging turned up some interesting facts. First of all, it has never happened before that all three finalists were never on the bottom all season long. That's a first. But none of them is the first to make it all the way through unsullied.

One of the reasons it may feel so unusual though, is that no designer in the three previous seasons was able to accomplish the same feat. That's right. Leanne, Korto, Kenley, Christian, Rami, Jillian, Jeffrey, Uli, Laura, Michael--not one of them made it through to the finals without ending up in the bottom three at least once.

Which of the previous finalists made it through unscathed? Only three of them. Two from Season One: Jay and Kara. (Jay, interestingly, also never won a challenge, until winning the whole shebang!) And only one person made it all the way through without hitting the bottom in Season Two: Daniel V. It should be noted, however, that Danny V. had immunity the day he ran Chloe down the runway in an auf-worthy mess. But they are the only three, before this season.

It's a rare thing to make it through without ever hitting the bottom three, when you do the math. So what does it say that this season doubled the number who've done it? You could argue that these three were juggernauts, and bound for glory and fame. You might also argue they didn't have much competition--particularly late in the season, when they were all most vulnerable. Here at Gratz Industries, we definitely fall in the latter camp.

Oh, and the finalists who had the most bottom three finishes before squeaking through to Bryant Park? Season One's Wendy Pepper, and Season Two's Santino Rice, who were each on the bottom six times. For Santino, that was the bottom three six out of ten times. For Wendy, it was six out of nine. Ouch.

On that note of abject failure, it's off to the preview!

* * * * * * * * * * *

SPOILER ALERT: As we point out each week, we don't have any prior knowledge of what's to come, other than (usually) the guest judge, (sometimes) a vague idea about the competition, and (occasionally) whatever preview videos Lifetime chooses to air. Using all these sources of public information, we make guesses about who will be in and who will be out. Often bad guesses but, (we hope!), fun ones. If you prefer to be surprised by this week's episode, well...you probably won't be anyway, but head on out now.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Project Runway Season 6 Finale: We've been there and done that, as we said at the outset. A lot of these pictures are ours, taken from the very back seat in the very back row of the tent. (Luckily, our field reporter had a good zoom lens.)

Alan sat right about here.

 

This is what his view looked like, without the zoom lens.

Check out the creepy stalkers behind the judges!

The first surprise of the night: the guest judge. Would it be a big Hollywood star? Scarlett Johansson? Demi Moore? Tina Fey? (If only!) Drumroll please...this year's celebrity guest judge for the finale is...Suzy Menkes? The announcement was met with a resounding "Who?" in my quarter. But then, most of us weren't international fashionistas. According to Wikipedia, Menkes has been the head fashion reporter and an editor for the International Herald Tribune since 1988, and has written several books, particularly about British Royal style. Her work in fashion has also earned her the Legion d'Honneur in France and a British OBE.

So she's definitely a high-caliber fashion professional--but not exactly the kind of name most people were expecting. And having seen the celebrities rolled out as guest judges this season, it's even more surprising.

Work it, Tanisha!

Another surprise, at least in rereading our former post, was that even then, among all the other models cast for the lines, Tanisha stood out. She owned it. And the outfit Althea puts her in looks smokin' on her. From a distance, it looked like it fit like a dream.

Althea's collection came out first, and was dominated by large knit sweaters and black headbands.

Carol Hannah's came out next (not that we knew who these lines belonged to then, of course), and reminded not a few people of Rami Kashou. In a good way.

Irina's collection was the last to come out, and it got people talking. Most importantly, the judges.

Irina's collection was dominated by large knit sweaters and black headwear.

Um, wait, didn't we say that once before? Oh yes. On Althea's collection. Thing is, even back then we noticed the similarities. "Like the first runway show, this designer incorporated a lot of long-sleeved knit tops," we said then. It was odd that both of them had brought such similar aesthetics.

 

"So basically you're just aping everything Irina does. Good strategy."

In the previews, Tim continues the comparisons. When asking Althea about how she plans to style her models, Tim is perplexed. "It sounds like what Irina was telling me." No kidding. Big knit sweaters and headbands are Irina's thing, like them or not, and it's more than a little suspicious that Althea has brought the same look to Bryant Park.

To be truthful, we're a house divided on this issue. Wendi thinks it's no big deal: neither one of them invented the oversized knit sweater, so it's fair game for anyone. Alan disagrees. Yes, the look was already around, but it must be admitted that big sweaters and headbands were part of Irina's shtick from the beginning, and Althea came late to the party. In one of his blogs, Nick Verreos argues that it would be impossible to hang around a bunch of other designers for too long without picking up on their aesthetics and echoing them a bit in your own looks, but after a few months away from everyone else, this stuff smacks of unoriginality.

So who will win?

In the previews, the Amazonian Princess of Piecing just wants it all to be over.

The Countess of Condescension just worries that she's forgotten something. Just about the only thing that could keep her from winning is if she sent a naked model down the runway, right?

And Carol Hannah, the Belle of Barf, just wants to not throw up. Poor Carol Hannah. No one, absolutely no one, deserves to be cough-up-a-lung sick on the biggest day of their lives--and on national television to boot. She's so sick she doesn't even get to take the traditional "I can't believe we're really here" tent tour:

 Althea: ... Irina: ...

We just feel awful for Carol Hannah. "This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen," she sobs into Christopher's waiting shoulder, and we couldn't agree more. We have a feeling we couldn't really enjoy tonight's episode very much even if we were pulling for someone to win, just because she's having such a miserable time of it and we sympathize.

Tim, about to get neo-classical on someone's ass.

As the collections are prepped for the runway, Tim shares our season-long frustrations and scolds everyone in sight:

 

"We should be lining up!"

"This is crazy!"

"I am about. to. lose it."

But the show does go on without a hitch--at least it did from our perspective in the audience. If you're curious to see the collections before the show tonight, or want to come back and see them in more detail, Blogging Project Runway has links to them at the top of their blog. You can also read the comments too--they're mixed, but in general readers thought Althea's collection was weak, Carol Hannah's was intriguing but hit and miss, and Irina's was the hands-down winner. Collection number three was also the favorite of most of the fashionista crowd interviewed by BPR the day of the show.

America's Next Big Fashion Designer

We're with the rest here--Irina will win. Again, surprise surprise. She's been the clear favorite all along. As Uncle Nick blogged last week, the title is hers to lose, and she doesn't lose it. Her collection is the only one at Bryant Park with any unifying aesthetic--which might also be said of her body of work on Project Runway Season Six. Like her vision or not, she has one. More consistent judging might have helped the others develop their own unique visions, but by the end Irina was the only one who seemed to have something to say.

Besides, aren't the judges using the Big Board totals to hand out lifetime achievement awards now? Irina has been the strongest designer, statistically, throughout the run of the season. So she automatically wins, right? (Sorry, still smarting from the Gordana debacle.)

Irina for the win. Poor sick Carol Hannah as the feel-good story in second. Althea gets sent off first, forever fueling the debate about whether Gordana should have been there in her place. May they and every one of the designers who made us laugh and cry an wince this season enjoy long, successful, and enjoyable careers in fashion. (Seriously. We mean it.)

 

And the most controversial season (in so many ways) is over, and we turn our hopeful eyes to Project Runway Season Seven, due to bow before we know it in January. The Queen is dead; long live the Queen! Thanks so much for checking in each week to read our little blog, and we'll see you all next season!

______________________________________

Gratz Industries: We watch the previews twenty times so you don't have to!

Read more...

Ten crazy (and not so crazy) ideas to make Project Runway better

Tonight is part one of the finale, Project Runway fans, and as such there is little to prognosticate about. We all know the routine. The designers will be sent home to design. Tim will get his annual use out of his driver's license as he visits each at their homes. One or two of the designers will be creatively blocked and behind schedule, but they'll pull it together. The designers will show up in New York and pretend to be civil after hearing all the behind the scenes trash talk they never heard during the filming. Tim and Heidi will show up with--surprise!--one last challenge, and we'll get the mad dash to Mood and the hurried workroom chaos one last time. Then, next week, the three will at last show their final collections and be judged.

The question on everyone's blogs is, who cares? Worse, will anyone tune in to see if Season Seven is any better?

We don't blame Lifetime, who have put their hearts, souls, time, and money into promoting Project Runway and making it a success. This season was filmed before it even had a home. The new producers though--Bunim/Murray--are justifiably taking a lot of flak in the blogosphere, both in terms of their casting and editing. Honestly, how could an episode with both Bob Mackie and Christina Aguilera have been so paralyzingly dull, boring, and tedious!?

Even Blogging Project Runway--that bastion of Project Runway love and admiration--had to acknowledge their favorite show's collapse. "Longtime recappers have given up on the show, ratings have dropped, commenters are complaining, and maybe worst of all, many fans don’t seem to care what happens next. As we head into the finale, there is no denying that the quality of Season 6 has left us only with a feeling of malaise and apathy." Friends, as BPR points out, The Real Housewives of Atlanta gets better ratings than Project Runway in that time slot.

We have to confess, we're feeling the malaise and the apathy here at Gratz Industries too. If we're honest, we just don't care who wins this season. Like The Scarlett posted in the comments to the above post, we haven't felt compelled to watch any episode of this season even a second time. One week when all our Netflix envelopes were in the mail and we had already watched our recordings of Top Chef and Glee, we ended up pulling out Project Runway Season Two, and we were in love all over again. At the same time, it made it even more painful to realize we no longer loved the show in the same way.

Okay, I'm dropping the royal "we" for a moment here, kids. I kid you not--it takes me an average of seven hours to write up my precaps each week. Seven hours! That's all the preview video watching, the screengrabbing, the Photoshopping, and the writing. It takes me so long to finish those posts that I have to split the work into two sessions--I write the recap on Tuesday nights, and the preview on Wednesday nights.

In the past, I saw that time spent as a labor of love. Now that the love has gone...well, it has just become a labor. I can't tell you the number of times I've asked Wendi if I should bother to keep doing previews for Season Seven. To be honest, there was even a point this season where I considered dropping them.

But we love Project Runway, and we love the online community of Project Runway fans and bloggers. We don't want the magic to end! With that in mind, we offer ten humble suggestions--some crazy, some not so crazy--to make Project Runway everyone's favorite show again:

 

1) Consistent judging.

All right, everyone's been all over this one like white on a Nicolas outfit, but we feel obligated to point out the threesome of Michael, Nina, and Heidi were only together as judges for two episodes this season. Two! That's criminal. Not only did we lose out on the obvious entertainment value of Michael and Nina, more importantly, we feel, the designers lost out on their guidance. Consider the cases of Uli and Rami. Both are great designers, and both earned final three spots during their seasons. But both were called on the carpet by the judges later in the season for being one note. The judges scolded them, challenged them: push, push, push! The only way the judges were able to do that was by seeing the designers' work week in and week out. The designers need consistent feedback, whether it's Heidi, Michael, and Nina, or Heidi, Nick, and Milla. (You know, to just pick a couple of people. Ahem.)

Realistic? Yes. Lifetime sources are already confirming Michael & Nina back for every episode next season, no doubt helped by the fact that the show will be filmed in New York again, where they and 75% of the rest of America's fashion industry works.

 

2) Rank the designers, and send the bottom designer home each week.

Yes, we're calling for a national Big Board of Shame™. We will even relinquish our imaginary trademark. Consider the benefits: each week, the weakest overall designer is sent home, which means we wouldn't have to endure, say, three agonizing weeks of Mitchell. Better designers would get a pass or two for off weeks as well. Think of how much better the runway shows might have been later in the season if designers like Ra'mon, Epperson, and Shirin hadn't been sent home when they were for mid-season missteps. And being on the bottom might light a fire under some people, while fear of slipping lower would perhaps make designers like Santino heed the words of the judges a little more closely. There would be some complications to figure out--do you send someone home week one? what do you do in the event of a tie?--but the idea is interesting. Besides, let's face it, the judges already do this to a certain extent now. Gordana's much denounced aufing last week is proof positive--Althea made it to Bryant Park on the strength of her previous work.

Realistic? We doubt it. A Big Board of Shame eliminates the drama that comes from anyone being able to go home each week, much like the single elimination NCAA Basketball Tournament, and takes away the power the producers have to bend the rules whenever they see fit.

 

3) Always pick new models, and eliminate the models based on model challenges.

Pretty simple: with model-swapping comes drama. It also keeps the designers from getting too comfortable. We say, keep 'em dancing. The more radical idea here: turn Models of the Runway into America's Next Top Model Lite and make it an ACTUAL competition. (It's not really "a competition for them too," Heidi--they stay or go based solely on the work of their designer that week.) Give the models mini-challenges that have something to do with that week's Project Runway episode, and eliminate them or keep them based on those competitions. Imagine the drama when a designer gets ready for model selection, and his or her favorite model has been eliminated in the interim! It's like having a sanctioned Julia from Season One, all the time. Oh, and say what you will about Models of the Runway--it has at least done one good thing for the show: it has gotten rid of the boring time-killer that was a repeat of "I'm keeping my model" each week, and given us more time with the designers and their work.

Realistic? Mixing up the models each week? Definitely. Eliminating the models based on challenges in Models of the Runway? It would require a MotR re-imagining, but at this point, it has everywhere to go but down. Either suggestion would be a truly viable way to shake things up without radically altering the format.

4) Force the designers to use color and prints. 

Season Six will forever be known as the Gray Season among fans. Gray, black, white, brown--with rare exceptions, that's about all we got. We never thought we'd hear ourselves repeat it, but as Nina said, "Thank God for Neoprene!" She wasn't kidding. We needed something to liven things up a little. (And yes, we know Neoprene isn't a color--but that one was lime green!) Since the judges weren't around consistently to push for it, the challenges should have forced the issue. Instead, the challenges were too vague, and allowed far too much acceptable use of drab color palettes. This season's only color-inspired challenge, the Macy's "blue" challenge, left us feeling, well, blue. Do a kids' clothing challenge. Or a spring challenge. A "sponsored by Skittles" challenge ("taste the rainbow!"). Anything. But please, make the designers take chances with color and print.

Realistic? Sure. It doesn't have to be every episode, but just somewhere.
 

5) No more repeated challenges.

Speaking of challenges, let's get this one out of the way right now too--no more repeats! No more art museums as inspiration, no more grocery store challenges, no more generic red carpet challenges, no more wedding dress challenges. (Not even as homages!) Yes, we know six seasons of challenges is a lot of challenges, but there are more original ideas out there. We promise! Look harder. Both Blogging Project Runway and Project Rungay have asked fans for suggestions in the past, and great ideas came flooding in. We have a few of our own. Surely the creative team at Bunim/Murray can generate some new and exciting challenges that will knock our socks off. (To coin a phrase.)

Realistic? In theory. The better question is, Necessary? YES.

6) Anonymous judging.

Here's another of our wild and crazy ones: don't let the judges know whose work is whose. Yes, in some cases, it would be obvious. Designers, after all, are supposed to evince a clear and unique personal aesthetic. But perhaps we could do away with some of the more prejudicial judging we see occur. The judges have their favorites each season, and it definitely influences their decisions. (Really, would Ra'mon have gone home as early as he did if Nina had been around more?)  So we say run those garments down the runway without names attached, and let's see what the judges have to say about the clothes, not the designers...

Realistic? Never in a million years. There's too much drama to be had in confrontations on the runway--between designer and designer, and between designer and judges--for them to ever do it. Maybe as a one time stunt, but not as a regular format change.

7) Bunk the boys with the girls, and let them have some down time.

Let's take a lesson from Top Chef here. Enough of the boy/girl suites and the five hours of back home time. Get the designers a big brownstone to live in together, and give them time to play house! Okay, yes--it's expensive to put sixteen people up in a house in New York City for three weeks. We don't care. Make it work! How lame was it when Christopher was all alone in the boys room last week, talking to himself? Great drama there, guys. We've been enjoying the heck out of Top Chef this season, and so many great moments have come from the time the chefs spend together back at the house or out to dinner together. But when in the world would the Project Runway designers have time to share a beer, even if they did live together? For the love of sanity, let the designers have more down time, okay? We know it's a time-honored PR tradition to deprive the designers of sleep so much that by week ten they are zombies, but enough already. We'd like to see what kind of work they consistently produce when they're at the top of their games.

Realistic? Yes. And long overdue.

8) Mini-challenges.

While we're sticking in the Bravo knife, why don't we turn it? Yes, we gave The Fashion Show a shot, and no, we didn't stick with it for more than a few episodes. But we have to admit--the mini-challenges were an interesting way to mix things up, and we've always loved the Quickfire challenges on Top Chef. Would it be so awful to have a sewing skills competition? A sketch-off? Name that classic designer from a picture of their work? Style that model? Make a little black dress? Design a shoe? A hat? A handbag? Winners get immunity or other advantages. Losers get shame heaped upon them and feel lousy. And even if the "Quick Sew" took the designers an hour, through brisk editing we could see it in ten minutes. It's a good idea. Steal it. We won't tell.

Realistic? Yes. Again, that ersatz Project Runway did it, so why not? We need something that will surprise the designers--and us.

9) More two day challenges.

What was with all the one day challenges this season? By our unofficial count, there were only three two-day challenges this whole season--and two were the first two episodes of the year. Again, it's this feeling that the designers have to be run ragged. Enough! Give them time to actually put some thought into their designs and do some really beautiful work. If you always give the designers $100, thirty minutes to sketch, thirty minutes to shop, and ten hours to finish a look, you're going to get a lot of cheap, quick, unfinished crap. That's great if you're just looking to give Nina something to bitch about, but what about giving her-- and us--something to rave about? The five remaining designers didn't even have two days to finish the pieces that would decide if they made Fashion Week or not. Ridiculous. Slow down the pace for the designers, and let their personalities come out--both in the workroom, and on the runway. Good editing will ensure the pace isn't slow for us as well.

Realistic? Absolutely.

10) Up the stakes.

One hundred thousand dollars? Pshaw. Let's give the winner ONE MEELLION DOLLARS! Seriously--start a line for $100,000? What is this, 1967? How many of the past winners have produced a line with that cash? Anyone? One hundred thousand dollars may give a designer the kind of mad money needed to live and work in New York when they're just starting out, but we doubt you could produce much with that kind of dough. Some sci-fi series cost $1 million an episode to produce. (Or more!) Surely there are enough sponsors to put together a sweeter deal?

Realistic? Well, one million dollars might be a little ambitious--but is $500,000 out of the question? And if that were on the table, would it affect the casting? Are any of this season's designers worthy of half a million dollars in prize money?

There you have it. Our modest proposals for rejuvenating our favorite reality show. Season Seven has been filmed and is already in the can, as they say in show business, so we'll just have to hold our collective breaths and see if the producers have come up with any ideas for rejuvenating the show on their own. All we can really say is: yeah, it needs it. Lifetime, Bunim/Murray, we'll tell you the same thing we tell the gimp we have locked up in the basement: we're tough because we care. We enjoy Project Runway, and we want to see it succeed.

Oh, and if you're stuck for an idea for a fun challenge, may we suggest Project Runway bloggers as models one episode?

See everyone in seven, when we predict the winner of Project Runway Season Six.

Read more...

Project Runway 6 - Episode 12 Preview

Four gals, one guy, and three tickets to Bryant Park

Here we are, kids. The last elimination challenge before Bryant Park. That's assuming we have a double elimination tonight, and not a last minute showdown in New York a la Rami and Chris from Season Four. Some of the faces we expected to be here. Others...well, they beat the odds. Now they have one last challenge to prove whether they belong at Fashion Week.

"It's for the professional woman who likes to parachute in to work."

First off, congrats are due to Althea, who takes home her second first-place finish. The Princess of Pantsuits now has five top three finishes, just one behind front-runner Irina and, surprisingly, tied for top three finishes with Carol Hannah. And Althea, like Irina and Carol Hannah, has never yet been on the bottom. With last week's win, Althea all but guaranteed herself a spot on the runway at Bryant Park. Only a meltdown as big as her hair would keep her from the finals.

The perfect look for a night on Broadway--
if you're a cast member of The Lion King.

Irina thought she had another first place finish in the bag herself, but it reminded Nina a little too much of a couch she once found herself on, and that was that. Irina, meanwhile, was a little miffed that Althea was aping her big sweater look. Yes, Irina stuck a flag in oversized sweaters and claimed it in the name of Irinastan, but as Uncle Nick said, you can't spend that much time in the same workroom and not begin to influence each other. And Irina didn't exactly invent the big-ass sweater-jacket. Still, it's that time in the competition where everybody starts to get a little more bitchy, and each of the designers is rightfully guarding very jealously what few tricks they still have up their oversized sweater-sleeves.

 "Logan stole my zipper collar, but I'm stealing
your baggy sweater thing, so we're even."

Irina came this close to actually respecting someone else on the show when she and Althea found something in common with their front-runner statuses. She might even have made a friend this past episode (of course, she's not here to make friends, natch) except that, well, she sort of called Althea out on the runway for stealing her big sweater look. Add that to Althea's good-girl guilt about being snarky (see her recent apology on Blogging Project Runway!) and you can almost see the footprints on Irina's scarf from Althea's hasty backpedaling.

"See, I thought I could add some feathers here, or some sequins, or
--oh hell, I don't know."

Carol Hannah did what she could to hang with the big dogs, putting together a cute little dress that many readers at Blogging Project Runway thought was the best look of the challenge. This was her hump to get over, her Waterloo, and she made it--though not without losing a little of her soul. How will she rebound next episode? We saw Shirin zapped of everything she had left and crash out after hitting the top three earlier. Will Carol Hannah follow suit?

 Next stop for this dress: Regretsy.

And Logan is finally out. We used up all our "rollover elimination" minutes in one week. How telling was it that each of the remaining six designers last week had at least one first place finish--except Logan. Not only did he not have a first place finish, he had never been in the top three. Worse, the dress selected as his best was his very first dress. The subtext was pretty clear: it was all downhill from there. That Logan lasted this long seems to us to be a combination of inconsistent judging, weak overall competition, and shiny pants. Shiny, shiny pants. Those shiny pants weren't enough to bail him out this time though, and finally the judging and the competition caught up with him.

 "Screw your courage to the sticking place, Christopher!"

Which leaves us with Christopher as the low man on the totem pole--even though Gordana's drab business suit was in more danger of going home. (And boy has Uncle Nick taken some heat for his Warsaw, Poland comment about it!) Christopher has clearly lost his mojo and isn't getting it back, despite our hopeful predictions for him along the way. Meanwhile his model, Katie, has turned into Lady Macbeth.

"Is this a tape dispenser which I see before me?"

We won't be surprised if Katie puts a dagger in Christopher's hand and tells him to sneak into the girls' room late at night.

But out, out, damn thoughts! It's time to rank the survivors on the Big Board of Shame™ ahead of their final showdown.

Irina: 25 points (Three 1st places, Two 2nd places, One 3rd place, Five safes)

Althea: 21 points (Two 1st places, One 2nd place, Two 3rd places, Six safes)
Carol Hannah: 20 points (One 1st place, Two 2nd places, Two 3rd places, Six safes)
Gordana: 7 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, One 3rd place, Five safes, Two 3rd worsts, One 2nd worst)
Christopher: 0 points (One 1st place, Two 2nd places, Three safes, Two 3rd worsts, Three 2nd worsts)

--------------aufed--------------

Shirin: 8 points (One 1st place, One 3rd place, Six safes, One Auf)

Epperson: 6 points (One 2nd place, One 3rd place, Five safes, One Auf)

Ra'mon: 3 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, Two safes, One 3rd worst, One Auf)
Nicolas: 0 points (One 1st place, One 2nd place, Four safes, Two 3rd worsts, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Johnny: 0 points (One 2nd place, One 3rd place, One safe, One 3rd worst, One Auf)
Louise: -1 point (One 3rd place, Four safes, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Malvin: -3 points (One safe, One Auf)
Ari: -4 points (One Auf)
Logan: -8 points (Six safes, Two 3rd worsts, Two 2nd worsts, One Auf)
Qristyl: -8 points (One safe, One 3rd worst, One 2nd worst, One Auf)
Mitchell: -10 points (Two 2nd worsts, One Auf)

Scoring: 1st place (4 pts), 2nd place (3 pts), 3rd place (2 pts), Safe (1 pt), 3rd worst (-2 pts), 2nd worst (-3 pts), Aufed (-4 pts)

 Annotated Big Board:

- For making it to the top six, Logan doesn't put in a very good showing on the Aufed board. He ranks just above Mitchell--and is tied with Qristyl for next to last. 'Nuff said.

- Irina: still here to chew gum and kick ass, still out of chewing gum.

- Althea edges past Carol Hannah for the number two spot on the Big Board, but it's neck and neck. Still, if everything holds true in the next challenge, there's really very little mystery about who we should see in the finale.

- Gordana ends up in the bottom two on the runway for the first time this season, and her phoenix-like rise comes crashing back down to earth. Gordana is finally learning to stand up for herself, but last week she didn't produce a look worth fighting for. Still, she's around at the end, which counts for something. Could she prove to be a surprise spoiler?

- Christopher isn't in the bottom two this week, but he still wasn't in the top. He's officially back to even now, ahead of whatever happens next...

* * * * * * * * * * *

SPOILER ALERT: As we point out each week, we don't have any prior knowledge of what's to come, other than (usually) the guest judge, (sometimes) a vague idea about the competition, and (occasionally) whatever preview videos Lifetime chooses to air. Using all these sources of public information, we make guesses about who will be in and who will be out. Often bad guesses but, (we hope!), fun ones. If you prefer to be surprised by this week's episode, why don't you break out that watercolor kit you bought a few years back and paint a portrait of Tim Gunn?

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

 Jail break!

It's time for a field trip, kiddies!

 

 "All right, Nina, let me explain it again. Schrödinger's cat illustrates
the paradox of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics..."

Cindy Crawford guest judges this episode, so the remaining designers head down to the giant Rooms To Go showroom in downtown LA to get inspiration from the "Cindy Crawford Home Collection":

"I see what she did here."

Wait. No. Cindy Crawford is the guest judge, but it's not Cindy's interior design chops that have her on the show this week--it's her expertise in pre-20th-century European paintings, drawings, and illuminated manuscripts. Instead of Rooms to Go, the designers are headed for The Getty Center, one of the nation's premier art museums. We're not sure how this art-museum-as-inspiration is much different from Season 4's "The Art of Fashion" challenge, but we'll allow that there are some mysteries of the universe still not revealed to us and let it go.

 

"You flash the security guard, and I'll grab the van Gogh."

The designers will be met there by their models, and possibly by the mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa, who is not a fashion model. He's supposed to appear in the episode sometime, and The Getty's commanding view of downtown LA seems like a better bet for his appearance than the break room at FIDM.

One day each year the smog lifts and you can see all the way to San Diego.

Will the designers' final looks have to be worn to some big city soiree, or is the museum just for inspiration? Probably just the latter--although we haven't had a designers-and-models-on-the-town-together episode this season, which is surprising. And we're vetoing our own soft prediction last week that we'd see a return of the aufed designers--there isn't a whiff of them in the previews. It's the final five's time alone in the spotlight this week.

"I like dat it is gray."

Gordana finds inspiration in a scary painting...

 The Girl in the Fireplace

...Carol Hannah looks for inspiration up a chimney...

"What if I attached about thirty of these dongle things to a big poofy dress?"

...while Christopher communes with upholstery not designed by Cindy Crawford.

"I'm thinking about putting feather and sequins all over it."

Back in the workroom, Carol Hannah goes for a simple but striking silhouette.

 "Who ya gonna call?"

Irina goes for the Ghostbusters "I've been slimed!" look.

Pay no attention to the woman in the foreground...

And Althea, in the background behind Gordana, is making something glittery, gold, and diamond-y.

"Look, Tim. If I'm aufed, the entire state of Minnesota and parts
of northwestern Wisconsin are gonna go crazy and invade Canada."

But it's Christopher who has Tim completely befuddled. Part of it has to do with these:

Perhaps the Getty had a paper airplane exhibit going on back when the show was filming. Otherwise, we're not quite sure what's going on here. Neither is Tim. He calls them stalactites. When Christopher tries to explain ("They're going to be edged in...") Tim is only more confused. "Christopher...what!?" he blurts. It's a rare moment of discombobulation from the usually unflappable Mr. Gunn, and we can only think it spells trouble for Christopher, who will hear worse on the runway. In fact, the previews show Christopher in tears again, professing that his final look "speaks more about me than any other piece I've put down the runway."

Heidi doesn't want to hear it, son.

We highlight Christopher's crying not as some kind of exercise in Schadenfreude, but in our duty as prognosticators. The waterworks and the stalactites point to just one thing: an underground sea Christopher's elimination. So we're going to go with not-so-hard-to-believe prediction #1: Christopher will be out this week. It's been an incredible run for the Shakopee Kid, who has outlasted eleven of his fellow designers--no small feat--but he's going out with a dress he stands behind 100%, which is about all you can ask for.

"Dis week I vill make Heidi eat de crow."

And what do we do with Gordana? She has hardcore fans, but Heidi seems to have it in for her. Is it some kind of European rivalry thing, like UCLA fans hating USC fans? We never got this vibe from Mistress Heidi when Uli was on the show, but they were both from Germany. Conspiracy theories abound, but one thing you really can't argue is that Gordana's last effort was a show-stopper for all the wrong reasons. Gordana's got three top-three finishes in the pocket of her short-shorts, but she doesn't seem to have the dynamic design sensibility the judges are looking for--and the dress above isn't talking us out of it. Tim tells someone, "It's looking like roadkill," and we have to wonder if that was for Gordana. The previews certainly imply that.

 

"Please. I have fourteen hungry children at home."

Not-so-hard-to-believe-prediction #2: Gordana is out this week. She put up a good fight there at the end, but she just never found her voice on the show. We were pulling for you, Big G, but we don't think there's a chance in hell the judges will send you to Bryant Park.

No, this show has been Irina's, Althea's, and Carol Hannah's since week seven, and even longer for anyone who has gone to have a look at the final three runway collections that were shown anonymously before the season even aired. It was pretty obvious early on that at least two of these three were going to Bryant Park based on the work we saw at Fashion Week (Irina and Carol Hannah) and since then we've been able to confirm the third (Althea). The only real question is, who will wind up sweating it out on stage with Gordana in an effort to make the final decision more dramatic?

Given the way Irina's outfit looks (above), and a comment from Heidi in the preview ("I'm a bit shocked to see this from you today") we're guessing Irina. It could be Althea too, but Irina has been the clear leader, and if she slips up here we can see Heidi lowering the boom on her. Who will win, and carry that momentum home with her? Dark horse Carol Hannah--although, since she was sort of living out of her car before the show started filming, we'll be interested to see exactly where "home" is for her in part one of the finale.

And that's how we see it, Slimer fans.

 

Bustin' makes me feel good...

See you in seven!

______________________________________

Gratz Industries: We watch the previews twenty times so you don't have to!

Read more...