Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! We just got back from trick or treating downtown with some friends. A fun time (and much candy) was had by all. . .

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Nunyunu-wi, Dressed in Stone

How awesome is this!? My hometown alt.weekly Metropulse invited me to write a short story for their Halloween fiction issue. It was a pretty tight deadline, but I've been reading H.P.Lovecraft lately, and as I was in an elder-gods-making-men-mad kind of mood already I leaped at the chance. They liked what I cooked up so much they put it on the cover, with art based on my story! (Yay, tentacles!)

To give the story a Knoxville angle, I went back to a kernel of an idea I've had for perhaps fifteen or twenty years now that I overheard in high school. While hanging out downtown, some kids I knew had run into a homeless man known as "The Chief." He was leaning on a building, his hands flat against the bricks, because, he told the teenagers, he was holding the building up. (Just like the man in the cover art, above.) If he let go, he told them, the building would fall down. This story was relayed to me as something funny, but I thought it was mysterious and sad, and ever since then I've kept that little scrap of an idea around in case I found a story for it.

And now I have. The story is called "Nunyunu-wi, Dressed in Stone," and you can read it online for free, or you can grab a hard copy (with illustrations!) in Knoxville by picking up Metropulse at any of the dozens (hundreds?) of places it's available for free. The special fiction issue also features scary shorts by Knoxville writers Kali Meister, Jack Rentfro, and Jennifer Alldredge.

Go give "Nunyunu-wi, Dressed in Stone" a read and tell me what you think.

Cthulhu fhtagn!

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Samurai Shortstop + Something Wicked = ?

From Editor Liz: what do you get when you cross Samurai Shortstop with Something Wicked?

Click here for the answer.

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Showing Off

Check out Jo's fancy new Tinkerbell slippers! Thanks Dot! They're fabulous! Unfortunately, the splintery floors in our "house" will destroy them in no time - so these are just for school until we move into the new house. Someday. . .

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Something Wicked in the Blogosphere

Kids Book Buzz is hosting a Something Wicked book blog tour. All this week bloggers are posting reviews and interviews. Here's the first round of reviews:

The 160 Acre Woods
A Christian Worldview of Fiction
All About Children's Books
Becky's Book Reviews
Cafe of Dreams
Hyperbole
Through the Looking Glass
Never Jam Today
Reading is My Superpower

Thanks, all!

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Sarah Palin visits Asheville, NC

Can I have your clothes
Originally uploaded by clarkmackey

Western NC might be red, but Asheville is true blue.

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Free books from Sara Ryan

My friend Sara Ryan is celebrating the paperback release of The Rules for Hearts by giving away free hardcovers to the first ten Gay/Straight Alliances who e-mail her. She lays out the details here! Hurry--the offer ends November 13th.

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One Good Picture

One of my responsibilities in my new job is to manage the dual credit program - a partnership between Penland, the local high school, and the community college. A group of twelve high school kids get to take a class at Penland and earn high school and college credit. I assist the teacher as needed, but mostly I get to take the class with the kids. Fun! This year the class works with photography and glass. We just started glass (soooo cool!) and I thought I'd show the one good photo I took in the photography class. I used a Holga camera which is what gives the lovely vignetting (the dark shading in the corners). I love the square format too.

I really like this picture - it captures a quieter side of Jo that we don't often take pictures of. Jo thinks the picture is boring because there's no color. She thought that about The Addams Family too - until she got about five minutes into it.

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20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: A Pop-Up Book

From boing boing: Check out this sped-up video of pop-up artist Sam Ita's work on his new 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: A Pop-Up Book. The book hath been added to my Amazon Wish-List...

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Get Out and Vote!

I've taken Jo into the voting booth with me for every election since she was born. But not this year. This year she has school on election day and I have a class after school, so it was not to be. Instead, I did early voting on Monday since I had to go to the courthouse anyway for jury duty.

There are a couple of firsts in this election for me. I think this is the first time I've ever lived in a "swing state." It's pretty exciting not knowing which way the electoral votes in my state are going to go. It makes me feel like my vote REALLY matters instead of being more of a "going through the motions" civic duty.

Also - and it was kind of exciting when I realized this - I've actually MET both of the candidates and shaken their hands. I met John McCain way back when I lived in Cincinnati and worked at Joseph-Beth Booksellers. He came for a booksigning and Alan and I both got to meet him. I think we even got a book signed. This was back when he was actually a maverick - before he sold his soul to the Republican party. I met Barack Obama at a Random House sales conference shortly before Audacity of Hope went on sale. He gave a fantastic speech (natch!) to all of the sales reps and I had a chance to chat with him afterwards.

So - an exciting election all around. . .

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Captain Picard as you've never seen him before...

What, you came here looking for your Wednesday fix of Project Runway previews? It's over. Go home. Really. Shoo.

Oh, all right. Here's something to entertain you until tomorrow.

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Blogging here, blogging there, blogging in my Calvin Klein underwear...

I'm this week's guest blogger over at the Penguin Blog (usa). So far I've just pimped the free e-book of Something Rotten, which of course you all know about as regular readers of Gratz Industries, but the rest of the week I'll be blogging about highland festivals, Scottish music, and maybe even a little baseball. Pop by and say hello so the folks at Penguin know somebody's out there. :-)

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Still Painting: or, Why I Now Hate Ladybugs

So we've been making progress on the house, though we haven't been recording it very well because on days when we paint - we paint from sunup until it's too dark to see. Fun times, I tell you.

This is the corner of my studio ceiling, as seen from Alan's office. The sign that says "make" is an extra support beam that the inspector (whom we have grown to hate) made the builder add after he was done with everything. We thought about ripping it out after we get our Certificate of Occupancy but then we decided to jazz them up a bit and make them a feature. I must say I quite like it. I'm always a fan of words and signs so this makes me very happy. Wait until you see what we (someday) do to our stairs. Big plans. . .

I'm also happy with the paint job to the ceiling. It's been some of the most nightmarish painting I've ever done, but I really like the clean look of the white with gray beams. It shows up the lovely lines of the beams without it being too contrasty and screaming, "Hey! Look at these exposed beams!"

But we're not done - oh no! My studio was the worst, because the ceiling height ranged from about 18 to 25 feet and I really don't like heights anymore. But now we're in the home stretch. Whew! The scaffolding is lower, but the room is bigger. And there has been an Invasion of Ladybugs.

See those little dark clumps in the corners of the beams? Those are ladybugs (actually Asian Lady Beetles if you want to get all technical) and they think they're going to hibernate in our bedroom. This is them in the morning when it was still chilly and they were all calm. I don't want to get into horrible detail here, but my the afternoon there were thousands of them flying through the room I was trying to paint. I had to brush them off each section before I could paint it. They were crawling all over me - in my ears, inside my glasses, down the back of my neck. Alan (under deadline and hard at work) came out to see if I was ok after he heard me screaming things like, "Get the f*** off me you little bastards!" It wasn't quite as bad as the day Alan's foul language echoed throughout our valley (and forever scarred the sheltered homeschooled kids innocently playing in their yard while we worked) but it was close.

At the end of the day I took this picture from the porch off our new master bedroom to remind myself that this will all be worth it when (if) we move in.

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Something Wicked on Tour

Okay, Something Wicked isn't really officially on tour, but I'm doing a couple of events this weekend, first in Atlanta and then in Knoxville, Tennessee. If you live in one of those two places, I'd love to see you!

Saturday, October 18th I'll be appearing at the Gwinnett Reading Festival in Lawrenceville, GA from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the kids tent, talking about Samurai, Rotten, and of course Something Wicked. The festival is free and open to the public. Come say hello!

Then on Sunday, October 19th I'm hosting a book launch party for Something Wicked at Carpe Librum in Knoxville at 3 p.m. Everyone is welcome! I'll be reading, signing, and chatting up friends and family. Please drop in!

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Something Wicked This Way Comes!

Can you believe it? I almost let the day get by without announcing, O-fficially, that today is the "pub date" for Something Wicked! Welcome to the world, little guy!

For those of you who haven't suffered my incessant promos, here's the skinny:

Something wicked this way comes, and only Horatio Wilkes can stop it.

A Scottish Highland Fair turns foul when Horatio discovers the games' founder, Duncan MacRae, dead in his tent. All signs point to Duncan's son as the murderer, but Horatio's not so sure--especially when his friend Mac and Mac's girlfriend Beth start acting like they own the place. And that's just one of many mysteries: Like why are Mac's and Beth's fathers acting so suspiciously? What's the deal with the goth-punk bagpiper corps threatening Horatio's friend Banks? Who is the hot girl spying on everyone? And why, exactly, are there men in kilts tossing telephone poles around?

Horatio will need all his snark and smarts--and maybe a little amazing grace--to thwart the fate a road-side psychic laid out for him and his friends. Not that Horatio believes in that kind of thing anyway . . .

Kilts, Celts, and killers: the sequel to Something Rotten is "Macbeth" as you've never seen it before!

And it's on sale TODAY!

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Project Runway 5 - Episode 14 Preview

Anyone else feeling like we're lost in Oz this season? We sure are. Or, rather, that we're returning home from Oz, and that this whole season has been a dream.

"And what have you learned, Dorothy?"

Getting a taxi in New York is as difficult as getting home to Kansas from Oz.

Well, last week we learned that Jerell isn't going to be with us in the finale. His brown wedding dress had flying monkey wings--over his model's breasts. It was an unfortunate dress, and now Jerell has clicked his heels together and gone home. We'll miss you in the finale, Jerell!

Korto and the Tin Man: both in need of Rustoleum.

We also learned that Korto, when left to her own devices, gets rusty like the Tin Man. Her wedding dress was so overworked it could have been a Japanese salaryman. Korto, what happened? That wedding dress was almost worthy of going home, which would really have been an upset. Korto seems to have learned her lesson though, as neither her wedding dress nor her bridesmaid's dress appear to be in her final collection.

Lemme at 'em. Lemme at 'em.

We learned that Leanimal the cowardly lion might have courage after all. The self-styled "silent fashion assassin" roared loudly with an architectural wedding dress that was one part exclamation and one part restraint. And perhaps Leanne learned that it can be very awkward when the model you dumped on her ass without any warning is brought back to wear your second look down the runway in the biggest single elimination challenge of the season. (Ouch.)

I'll get you, my pretties, and your little Gunn too!

We learned that Kenley may in fact have a heart under that tough exterior. Or should we use a Wicked Witch of the West metaphor here? If we did, we'd have to make it Elphaba from Wicked: The Musical, as there was redemption for this season's villain. Kenley showed up ready to bury the hatchet--as much as she could--and by the end of the episode had even Korto crying and wishing that none of them had to go home, "Not even Kenley." We also learned that Kenley can bring it, stunning judges and fellow contestants alike with her Alice in Wonderland-inspired, whimsical wedding dress. (Alexander McQueen be damned.)

Oh, and we also learned that Kenley apparently has no friends or family for Tim to visit. We know we're not the only ones to notice that omission. Strange and sad.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we cry. A lot.

But of course the most important lesson of all is that there's no place like Bryant Park. It is never so serious, never so meaningful, never so surreal as it is now for these three designers. This is the Emerald City without the glasses on, the peek behind the curtain, the technicolor fantasy world that makes the real one pale by comparison. This is where reality show silliness gives way to real world fashion and style. Are you ready, Dorothy?

We sure are.

First, since we had an elimination last week, let's pay one last visit to the Big Board of Shame:

Korto: 19 points (Two 1sts, two 2nds, three 3rds, one "top four," one "no decision," one 3rd worst, one second worst, two safes)
Leanne: 18 points (Two 1sts, two 2nds, one "top two," one "top four," one 3rd/3rd worst, one 3rd worst, one 2nd worst, four safes)
Kenley: 17 points (One 1st, three 2nds, one 3rd, one "top two," one "no decision," one 3rd worst, one 2nd worst, four safes)

----------------aufed-------------------
Jerell: 16 points (Three 1sts, two 2nds, one 3rd, two 3rd worsts, four safes, one auf)
Terri: 8 points (One 2nd, two 3rds, five safes, one auf)
Joe: 6 points (One 1st, one 3rd, one "top four," one 2nd worst, five safes, one auf)
Kelli: 3 points (One 1st, three safes, one auf)
Suede: -2 points (One 1st, two 2nd worsts, one 3rd worst, six safes, one auf)
Keith: -2 points (One 1st, one 2nd worst, one 3rd worst, three safes, one auf)
Emily: -2 points (Two safes, one auf)
Wes: -3 points (One safe, one auf)
Stella: -4 points (One 3rd, two 2nd worsts, four safes, one auf)
Daniel: -4 points (One 2nd, one 2nd worst, one 3rd worst, two safes, one auf)
Jerry: -4 points (One auf)
Jennifer: -5 points (One 2nd worst, two safes, one auf)
Blayne: -6 points (One 2nd worst, two 3rd worsts, five safes, one auf)

Scoring: Win (4 pts), 2nd place (3 pts), 3rd place (2 pts), Safe (1 pt), 3rd worst (-2 pts), 2nd worst (-3 pts), Aufed (-4 pts)

Notes of Interest:

- Jerell, not surprisingly, becomes the strongest designer yet eliminated. His margin of victory over the other aufed designers is considerable, with twice the points of his nearest competition.

- Korto slips back to the pack with her bridal blunder, but still retains a narrow lead.

- The three remaining designers are really bunched up. In political parlance, one might say it's a statistical dead heat, assuming a plus or minus one point margin of error.

Which seems as good a segue into predictions for this week as anything...

SPOILER ALERT: We have no prior knowledge of who's in and who's out each week. We do, however, watch the preview videos Bravo provides, from which we try to glean clues of what's to come. Then we make guesses. If you don't like such things, close your eyes, click your heels together three times, and say "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."

An "appropriate" use of the Bluefly.com accessories wall.

Last week there was no special guest judge--perhaps it wasn't in the budget. Or perhaps they blew the budget on this week's special guest judge: Jennifer Lopez! Oh man, is this going to be the biggest star they've ever had on Project Runway! She's going to be so kickin', so gorgeous, so--

Wait, what? She had to cancel?

That's what we hear, at least. JLo was supposed to be the big finale judge for Season Five, but had to back out at the last minute due to a "foot injury." An injury that was apparently too debilitating to allow her to sit in a director's chair and judge the finalists, but not so debilitating that it prevented her from competing in a charity triathlon a few days later. (We kid you not.) Hmm. Perhaps she just watched this season with the rest of us, and decided not to show until PR could "Get Right." Maybe next season, huh JLo?

What oh what were the producers to do? With JLo a no-show and Debra Messing and Parker Posey busy eating ice cream in their pajamas at home, Project Runway needed a miracle...

The Gunnderful Wizard of Oz!

When in swept the Make-It-Work Wizard of Oz Tim Gunn in his hot air balloon!

Yes, the big shocker of this year's finale is Tim Gunn sitting in that fourth chair, holding forth on whether the designers were able to mitigate their collections. Some people don't like this--they argue that Tim is so wonderfully helpful and supportive because he's not a judge, and that no one with an intimate knowledge of what really happens in that workroom should ever be able to sit in judgment of the designers. We get that, but we cannot deny the big grin we get when we see Tim sitting in that chair giving opinions in the preview video. Way to go Tim! If this is the last season for Project Runway on Bravo, it seems a fitting coda that Tim should be there with Heidi and Michael and Nina at the end. Next year we can start all over, and Tim can go back to being the workroom guru that he is. For now though, we'll be watching for the Great and Terrible Oz to crank up the flames and the big scary voice.

Beyond the surprise guest judge, we don't predict there will be much nonsense this episode. That was last episode, with the wedding dresses and the last minute bridesmaid's dresses. (Which, given that they pulled the same stunt on PR Oz, we should have seen coming.) This time we think the Magical Elves will be content to take us through the late-night trip to the empty Bryant Park tent, the selection of the models, the last minute alterations (including, for Korto, the creation of one entirely new dress from the remains of her wedding dress disaster!), and the build-up to the show and the runway collections.

Runway collections that have been on the internet for anyone to see for about six weeks now. We really wish these weren't released, but we suppose there's no way around it. When something shows at Bryant Park, it's public, and if Bravo didn't post the pics some other fashion blog would. So the runway collections are online over at Blogging Project Runway, should you want to judge for yourself.

We've looked the runway collections over, and we have our favorite looks and our "what was she thinking?" moments. Overall though, much as predicted by the Big Board of Shame, we don't see any clear-cut winner distancing herself from the pack. Disappointingly, it's not because all three are so incredibly strong, but instead because we think all three are hit and miss.

Korto with the cast of Wicked: The Musical.

If we have to pick a least favorite, we think it might be Korto's. Some of her dresses bear the mark of being as overworked as her wedding dress, which we know isn't going to play well with the judges. There are also a lot of colors and looks, and we wonder if she won't be taken to task for having a collection that isn't as cohesive as it could be.

Alice and the white rabbit at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.

As for Kenley, we like some of her looks, but not others. Some of them are stunning. Some are so-so. And if there is one thing we can actually glean from the two otherwise pretty meaningless preview videos, it's that Kenley is again criticized on the runway for sending out looks too reminiscent of dresses from professional designers' fashion shows. She's been taken to task for this before, as late as last episode. She got a pass for that then, but we think this time it work more against her. Oh, and it can't help that she's been antagonistic all season long not only with the three regular judges, but also with this week's surprise guest judge...

Leanne plans to make waves.

And then there's Leanne, who seems to have the opposite problem of Korto. While Korto's collection seemed all over the place, Leanne's is almost too matchy-matchy. It's all taupes and teals and wavy pleats--her "beach" inspiration almost directly translated. Will that be points against, or points in her favor?

All things considered, we think the silent fashion assassin takes this one. What it will boil down to, we think, is that Leanne is the only one to give us something new and innovative, the only one to show the judges something they've never seen before, something they'll want to see more of. We like Leanne for the win, Kenley for second place, and Korto for third.


And there you have it. What a long, strange trip it's been down the yellow brick road. Thanks so much for reading our humble little blog all season long. We've enjoyed having you visit! We'll see you next season on Lifetime. Or Bravo. Or NBC. Or wherever the heck the Project Runway tornado takes us...

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Something Free!

To celebrate the release this week of Something Wicked, my contemporary young adult mystery based on Macbeth, Dial Books is offering a special promotion: they're letting you read the first Horatio Wilkes mystery, Something Rotten, for free.

You read that right. Free. Gratis. Complimentary. No charge.

You don't have to register, you don't have to give your e-mail, you don't have to buy something else to read it.

All you have to do is click here.

Why are we letting you read Something Rotten for free while it's still on sale at your favorite bookseller? Because the number one challenge facing most authors is obscurity. Of all the people who didn't buy Something Rotten today, the majority did so because they simply didn't know it existed--not because someone gave them a free copy of it. Like Cory Doctorow says, we think it's more important to get more people into our tent than to make sure everybody inside bought a ticket.

So click on the link in this post, or the banner stuck to the top of the Gratz Industries blog, or go to www.alangratz.com, and read Something Rotten. The book is free (did we mention?) but this special promotion ends on November 30th.

So what are you waiting for? Go. Now. All the cool kids are doing it...

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Wicked Costumes

Check out this great interview Threadbangers did with Susan Hilferty - the costume designer for Wicked! I love the show and I love the costumes so it was great to get a behind-the-scenes peek.

I loved the book the musical is based on and I'll never forget coming in to NY for a meeting and seeing billboards everywhere for the musical - which I didn't even know they were doing! I walked on down to the Gershwin that night - just in case they had a single seat available. It had just opened, so of course they didn't - but I did come home with the soundtrack and one of the gorgeous posters. Alan and I finally got to see it when the show came to Atlanta - and it was awesome! Jo is a huge fan of the music - she knows almost all the words to almost all the songs and I wish we had brought her with us, but the book is definitely not for kids so I wasn't sure about the musical. It turns out it would have been just fine - but she's still waiting. It's back in Atlanta right now, but we found out too late to get tickets to the one weekend we could have made it. Oh well. . .

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Something Wonky

Hey! Pinkee featured my red Wonky Squares quilt in a treasury on Etsy - along with lots of other cool wonky things. Take a look here. The list expires on Wednesday night - so visit soon.

Of course, this made me go visit her shop and now I really want to buy some of the bamboo tiles. You can find them here. I just love the feel of bamboo (Alan gave me a satiny-smooth bamboo crochet hook for my birthday one year) and I think these would make great pendants, bracelets, etc.

Thanks for the treasury love Pinkee!

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Southern Festival of Books: a Namedropping Recap

Saturday I spoke and signed at the Southern Festival of Books in Nashville, Tennessee. I've been to Nashville often in the last ten years, and every time I go back I'm more and more impressed with the city--and this after growing up in Knoxville, Tennessee and visiting Nashville maybe three times in those twenty years. (For you non-Tennesseans, East Tennessee, Middle Tennessee, and Western Tennessee are such separate geographic and cultural regions that loyalties and divisions run deep--and each is represented by one of the three stars on Tennessee's flag. See? You didn't know you were going to get a history lesson today, did you?)

The best thing about the festival was reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. I spoke on a mystery panel with Tracy Barrett (above) and moderator Helen Hemphill, caught up with Candie Moonshower and Patricia Wiles at the SCBWI booth, shanghaied SCBWI friend Linda Ragsdale and her daughter Jessie at the children's pavilion, said hey to Wilmoth Foreman in passing in the parking garage, saw former colleagues Ginger Clark, Tamara Crabtree, and Tom Post from my old Davis-Kidd/Joseph-Beth days, ran into fellow Knoxville theater scene alum Julie Walker Danielson who has a blog that you may have heard of, chatted with old acquaintances David Mcinnis Gill and Varian Johnson, talked first books with SCBWI friend Kristin O'Donnell Tubb, ate dinner with Bill Householder and his wife Laura, and stayed up past the point of weariness talking with new BFFs Laurel Snyder and Jenny Meyerhoff. (And with all that, I'm sure I'm still forgetting someone. Sorry! Whoever you are, you're still my bestest friend ever!)

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Who is the man who would risk his neck for his brother man?

See if you can place the theme song being performed here by The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. If you can't get it right off, wait until around the 1:05 mark when they start in with the lyrics. It just gets better from there...

It's the earnestness that sells it.

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Project Runway 5 - Episode 13

And here we thought we'd have the week off.

No, in their infinite wisdom, the judges (and their Magically Elfen producers?) decided they couldn't decide. No one was aufed. Instead, all four contestants were sent home to put together collections. Yay!

Wait, why aren't you cheering with us? Come to think of it, why are we cheering?

If that dress slips down any farther, we're going to have a "wardrobe malfunction."

Asked to "knock the judges' socks off," the designers, as though they had made a secret pact back at the Atlas before the cameras arrived, collectively laid a big fat egg. Jerell was named the winner as though by default, as his "win" didn't even earn him a guaranteed spot at Bryant Park.

Which is strange, because last season when the judges couldn't make a decision, the two designers with the top designs the final week--Christian and Jillian--got automatic ins, with Chris and Rami left to walk it off in a pre-Bryant Park runway show. But then, Christian and Jillian actually impressed the judges in that final challenge. So what does a four person runway contest to get to the final runway show tell us?

It tells us that the judges weren't trying to decide which three designers were the best last week, they were trying to decide which of them was the worst. And they couldn't decide. And neither could we, frankly.

And what is the reward for universal mediocrity? $8,000 for each of them to create a line and come back in two months to try again. In backyard parlance, that's called a "do-over." Here at Gratz Industries, we call that "lame."

Epic fail.

Why the suckage? Was it stress? Weariness? Creative bankruptcy? Indigestion? Whatever it was, it was disappointing. And it wasn't as though their work was terrible. It was just so...uninspired. So underwhelming.

And then, of course, there was the drama. Oh the drama. Never in five seasons of Project Runway have we seen such a wholesale sellout of a single designer on the runway. As though the producers knew what was coming, they put Kenley at the far end of the runway and then worked their way down the other three designers, letting them each explain, in no uncertain terms, why each of them thought Kenley was the worst designer since Joseph Stalin.

Ready, aim, fire at Kenley.

At first, we confess, the schadenfreude was delicious--but it quickly turned to poison in our mouths. "Oh no he di'n't! . . . Oh. Oh no. She didn't . . . Oh. Wow. She did too." Seriously, no matter how much you may dislike Kenley, what went down on that runway was just nasty and wrong. We get that she annoyed the other designers, and we understand that they would rather go to Bryant Park with people they like rather than people they don't. But holy Christian Siriano. Not even Wendy Pepper ever got it that bad. No person, not even our worst enemy, should have to go through what Kenley endured on that runway. By the time we got to her and she sobbed through a defense of her actions and a non-retaliatory answer to Heidi's question, we felt like wet fetid cow patties for ever feeling the slightest bit of entertainment from this debacle.

Later, in the workroom, Tim tried to put a brave face on what we'd all just seen, but not even Gentleman Tim could make this go away. Kenley wouldn't make nice with the other designers and share in the group hug--which we totally understood and agreed with--and the tone for the next episode--for perhaps the next two episodes--was officially set to somber. It felt less like a celebration than a wake, and we worry the next episode will feel the same.

But before we go there, let's pull the Big Board of Shame out of mothballs and set it back up on its easel:

Korto: 22 points (Two 1sts, two 2nds, three 3rds, one "top four," one "no decision," one 3rd worst, two safes)
Jerell: 20 points (Three 1sts, two 2nds, one 3rd, two 3rd worsts, four safes)
Leanne: 15 points (Two 1sts, two 2nds, one "top four," one 3rd/3rd worst, one 3rd worst, one 2nd worst, four safes)
Kenley: 14 points (One 1st, three 2nds, one 3rd, one "no decision," one 3rd worst, one 2nd worst, four safes)

----------------aufed-------------------
Terri: 8 points (One 2nd, two 3rds, five safes, one auf)
Joe: 6 points (One 1st, one 3rd, one "top four," one 2nd worst, five safes, one auf)
Kelli: 3 points (One 1st, three safes, one auf)
Suede: -2 points (One 1st, two 2nd worsts, one 3rd worst, six safes, one auf)
Keith: -2 points (One 1st, one 2nd worst, one 3rd worst, three safes, one auf)
Emily: -2 points (Two safes, one auf)
Wes: -3 points (One safe, one auf)
Stella: -4 points (One 3rd, two 2nd worsts, four safes, one auf)
Daniel: -4 points (One 2nd, one 2nd worst, one 3rd worst, two safes, one auf)
Jerry: -4 points (One auf)
Jennifer: -5 points (One 2nd worst, two safes, one auf)
Blayne: -6 points (One 2nd worst, two 3rd worsts, five safes, one auf)

Scoring: Win (4 pts), 2nd place (3 pts), 3rd place (2 pts), Safe (1 pt), 3rd worst (-2 pts), 2nd worst (-3 pts), Aufed (-4 pts)

Notes of interest:

- Well, what the heck are we supposed to do with last week's mess? Jerell was named the winner, so he gets 4 points. That makes him this season's only three-time winner, but it still doesn't give him enough points to overtake Korto in first.

- Leanne was told she was one of the two best and didn't win, so that has to mean she won second place. Three points to her, which puts her ahead of Kenley by a nose.

- Korto and Kenley were told they had the two lowest scores, but neither of them was worse enough than the other to be sent home. We don't feel like we can take points away from them for a pass, but we can't see awarding them any points either. We'll call it a wash. "No decision" for both--which means no change in their scores from last week.

- With the slight change-up in the standings, Kenley appears to be the odd designer out--statistically. (And, to be fair, just barely.)

So, what now?

SPOILER ALERT: We have no prior knowledge of who's in and who's out each week. We do, however, watch the preview videos Bravo provides, from which we try to glean clues of what's to come. Then we make guesses. If you don't like such things, please close your browser and read a bridal magazine.

Was it us, or was Heidi not totally hot in the pants and push up bra?

Things begin with Heidi congratulating the designers for all being mediocre enough to make it this far, despite the "misstep" in last episode's gown challenge. But, she tells them, the judges have faith that with $8,000 and two months' time, each of them will come back with something marvelous. Only, of course, one of them won't be so marvelous, and that person will have to just pretend that he or she is still in it during Fashion Week. Like Joe. And Suede. (Remember them? They show too, only we won't see it.)

But before Heidi dismisses the designers, she tells them she has one more challenge for them--much to Korto's chagrin. We don't get to hear what the challenge is, but ever since the final collections were posted on the Bravo site a few weeks back, the buzz on the Blogging Project Runway boards has been that the designers will have to create wedding gowns that fit in their collections. Here are the dresses people consider bridal:

Kenley's:


Leanne's:


Korto's:


Jerell's:


For lack of better evidence, we'll accept that these are intended as bridal gowns--although some are certainly more traditional than others. It is a fashion show, after all, and none of them wants to run something off the rack down the runway.

After the usual bravado of "I'm going to go make one hell of a collection and crush the competition" from each of the designers, we get a taste of Tim's visits. Korto lives in some strange place Tim doesn't understand--Little Rock, Arkansas. Leanne has made too many things that look too much alike. Kenley is making dresses with rope around the neckline, perhaps unwittingly projecting her feelings of anger and antagonism into her designs. Jerell isn't shown.

After what must have seemed like a quick two months to the designers (don't they usually get six months?) they filter back to the Atlas, New York's luxury apartment building. (The only one, apparently.) In what has to be a deliberately staged series of entrances, Korto, Leanne, and Jerell arrive with plenty of time to talk smack about Kenley before she arrives. Some snarky editing makes it look like she gets a silent welcome, but we can't imagine the three musketeers are that rude to her face. The stony silence and rolled eyes probably come after she turns her back on them to wheel her suitcase into her bedroom.

And thus begins what we fear will be another episode filled with more drama than design. The producers do what they can though to infuse more workroom madness, as Tim appears two days before Bryant Park and announces that he has one more challenge for all four designers. One more challenge? Making wedding dresses wasn't enough?

Most of these eleventh hour challenges have involved making one final piece to add to their collections, but Heidi sent them off to make ten looks, and each of them, according to the Bravo photos, works the runway with exactly ten outfits. (Including the wedding dresses above.) So if they're making an eleventh outfit, where is it? Do the designers then have to decide which of their ten looks they brought with them they want to replace? That could be an interesting exercise in self-editing--although if each shows a wedding dress in their collection, that is the one dress they presumably cannot replace.

Which design or designs will determine their fates? Will they be judged only on the wedding dresses they made? Will they have to show both the wedding dress and their eleventh hour design? It's impossible to say.

We don't know if they are going to pick a winner this week, but if they do and it's based on the wedding dresses alone, we like Kenley for the win. The winner at this point is almost irrelevant though, except that that designer will get to breathe easier earlier than the rest. What really matters here of course is who comes in last, and for that, we go back to a lot of the evidence we introduced last week.

Exhibit A: Jerell clowning around with Joe and their models the day before Bryant Park.


If Jerell is in, how does he have time to joke around with models and aufed designers?

Exhibit B: Publicity shots that feature Korto, Leanne, and Kenley more than any other designers.


Exhibit C: In one of the preview videos, Michael Kors tells someone at the far left of the runway, "It's garish." Jerell is positioned at the far left of the runway.

Exhibit D: According to the experts at Blogging Project Runway, each year the decoy designers have shown their collections first, followed by the real contestants at the end. Kenley, Korto, and Leanne were the final three designers to show this year. Jerell was the first.

We said it last week, and we'll say it again this week: we think Jerell is out. Our Fafarazzi picks--the three girls--remain the same.

Now, let's just hope the judges (and producers!) can make a decision this time...

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Bliss - The Book Trailer

Best-selling author, top-ten censored author, and all around swell gal (not to mention my good friend) Lauren Myracle has a creepy new book out called Bliss, with a creepy book trailer to boot. Give it a look:



Congrats, Lauren!

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Has the Newbery lost its way?

Anita Silvey, a wonderful children's book critic and historian, has a fascinating and honest article in the October 1st School Library Journal in which she asks the question that no one in children's books wants to ask publicly but everyone asks privately: Has the Newbery lost its way?

From her essay:

Right before the announcement of this year’s Newbery winner, I had two surprising encounters. First, a librarian at my local public library confessed that she had no interest in learning “what unreadable Newbery the committee was going to foist on us this year.” Then, a few weeks later at an education conference, I was startled to hear several teachers and media specialists admit they hadn’t bought a copy of the Newbery winner for the last few years. Why? “They don’t appeal to our children,” they explained patiently.

Click here to read the article in its entirety.

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The Brooklyn Nine: web pages

I just posted a multi-page update to ye olde web site--the new Brooklyn Nine pages! The book comes out in March of 2009, but it's not too early to begin flogging. Synopsis, first chapter, an early review, and a walk-through history of the nine different eras in the story are up, with more to follow in the coming months. Just click on the Brooklyn Nine cover on the front page to start exploring. There's even a picture of my great-great-great-great-grandfather Louis A. Gratz, the first of our clan in America, hidden in there somewhere. Oddly, I look a lot like him...

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Creepy rummage sale find

Wendi and I have worked the first day of the Spruce Pine Montessori School Rummage Sale the last three years. The rummage sale proceeds make up a big part of the school's operating expenses each year, and we're happy our schedules allow us to be there most of the day and volunteer.

Selfishly, we also love the chance to take a look at everything that's for sale before the great hordes of bargain hunters descend on what is, essentially, a 60-family yard sale. This year seemed to be the year, however, that most families decided to weed out the most hideous tchotchkes in their closets. Like this disturbing little fellow.

A monkey, I assume? Perhaps something to adorn a child's bedroom. To stare at her during the night. In the dark. As she sleeps. Watching. Waiting.

Most disconcerting of all is the hole in the monkey's posterior:

A missing tail, one presumes? An unfortunate absence that suggests other, more illicit, uses.

By which, of course, I mean a planter.

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