Steal Ma Gun, Taste Machete

In my quest to bring you only the best sports stories of the day (see the Chelsea celery ban) here is the sordid story of a man and his machete.

Once more famous for being the only person with the initials UUU to ever play Major League Baseball, Venezuelan relief-pitcher Ugueth Urbina has just been sentenced to 14 years in prison for exacting vengeance with a machete. From the Associated Press, via the Seattle Times:

CARACAS, Venezuela -- Former major league pitcher Ugueth Urbina was sentenced to 14 years in prison Wednesday for the attempted murder of five workers on his family's ranch.

Urbina, a former pitcher with the Philadelphia Phillies, was also found guilty of illegal deprivation of liberty and violating a prohibition against taking justice into his own hands during a dispute over a gun on Oct. 16, 2005, the Attorney General's Office said in a statement.

The 32-year-old free agent was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family's ranch, located about 40 kilometers (25 miles) south of Caracas.

Supposedly a party guest stole a handgun from Urbina's place, which is what the "dispute over a gun" is all about. There's also some business about Urbina catching these guys taking a dip in his pool late at night without permission. He claims he just scolded them and went off to bed. Instead of, you know, tying them up, hacking at them with a machete, pouring gasoline and lighter fluid on them, and setting them on fire. It's easy to see where he might be confused.

Here's a link to an earlier take on the story at deadspin.com, which is worth visiting for the headline alone.

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Woofers, Tweeters, and Baru Players

We're packing packing packing for our big company relocation, and part of the process (for me at least) is catching those stray books that didn't get typed in to our online library list at LibraryThing.com, which is like crack to compulsive book collectors. (See our profile here.) We've got everything entered except Jo's picture books and easy readers, and I think we may have missed Wendi's craft books and recipe books, as those were not in the regular collection. Those will have to get added after the move.

One of the stray books I found has some really funny stuff though, and I thought I'd post a little bit of it. It's an old Don Brigg's Tokyo travel guide from 1969 that I picked up at some garage sale or used bookstore somewhere. It's classic. It's got this sort of hip swinger's attitude, and is filled with punny, self-indulgent section headlines like "Hari Cherry," "A Kick in the Kimono," "My Furoshiki's Got a Hole In It," "Two-Rickshaw Garage," "The Price is a Riot," "Truth or Kimonoquences," "The Garden of Edo," "Service with a Samurai," "Squid Row," "Knights of the Round Haircuts," and "A Hard Day at the Orifice." (I'm not touching that one.) The section on packing into Tokyo's infamously crowded trains is called "Mein Kramp."

But there are two sections I want to quote from. First, a section called "Woofers & Tweeters."

Tokyo's freakier hippies are despised by the livelier "danmo-zoku" tribe which is more interested in jazz coffee shops and playgirls. Danmo-zoku young people indulge in whatever stimulants can be obtained. Most have jobs. "Futen-zoku" are hippies without a mission, considered brainless beneath their shaggy manes, interested in promiscuous liaisons without the stimulus of jazz hangouts.

Ah, Japan in the Sixties. Much like America in the Sixties, methinks. The guide book then goes on to tell you where to find these Tokyo denizens, should you want to hang with them. Or perhaps despise them.

And there's a section on Japanese baseball too, called "Take Me Out to the Baru Game" - delivered with a surprisingly fair analysis (for the time):

Japanese baseball teams have about thirty players on their rosters from Hawaii and the Americas, and some stars, such as Yomiuri Giants' slugger Oh (Chinese) and southpaw pitcher Enatsu of the Hanshin Tigers, are of championship caliber. Americans who are playing pro ball here say the Japanese teams lack the depth of U.S. teams, with fewer "stars." Japanese pitchers do not throw as fast, but are experts with screwballs and sinkers; and are called upon to pitch more frequently than are overseas regulars. In batting and fielding Japanese excel, but are considered to be very poor base runners. Japanese players are two or three years younger, on the average, and are not as money-conscious as American stars. Long spring training periods and over-long pre-game practice sessions are criticized by westerners playing in Japan. One Japanese pitcher now playing professional ball in the States notes that American hitters tend to try for the long extra-base fly ball more than do the line-drive hitting Japanese. It is thought that five or six more years will elapse before Japanese ball teams will be able to compete on a more-or-less equal basis with American teams.

That final prediction, compared to the opinions of many other observers of Japanese baseball then and now, is refreshingly optimistic.

Perhaps next time I'll feature one of the sections on sushi: "Thank Cod It's Friday."

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Samurai Shortstop named to NYPL Books for the Teen Age 2007

I've known for a couple of weeks, but I've held off announcing until after the award ceremony - Samurai Shortstop was named to the New York Public Library "Books for the Teen Age 2007" list! The official reception was yesterday in New York, and I regret that I couldn't make it. Many authors I know from cyberspace were going to be in attendance, and I'm eagerly awaiting word on how things went. (Although I'm not expecting a Futoshi-style food riot or anything.)

I don't have a link to prove the veracity of this claim (the NYPL web site still has last year's list featured) but I'll add a link when I find one. In the meantime, you'll have to take my word for it.

Hey, have I ever lied to you before?

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Rotten Galleys

They're here! The Something Rotten galleys have arrived.

Unfortunately, I wasn't around to hear the wonderful sound of the box thunking outside our door - I was off getting the oil changed for my Tuscaloosa school and library visits today and tomorrow instead. Wendi had the galleys unpacked and on display for me when I returned though, which was a treat. And thanks to our mad packing for our imminent move, we have plenty of empty bookshelves to spare!

I continue to marvel at the wonderful cover by Emilian Gregory and the interior design of the book by Jasmin Rubero. The little skull in the O shows up at the top of every chapter, and is visible on the spine. I just love that. I may have it made into a stamp, like the hanko I stamp into signed copies of Samurai Shortstop. Thanks to Liz and everyone else at Dial who made this book look so great!

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alangratz.com 2.0 is now live!

The Gratz Industries publicity department has been hard at work lately. First, Wendi got a brand-spanking new web site to feature her quilt projects. Now Alan gets a brand new web site too - featuring Samurai Shortstop and Something Rotten, which starts stinking up bookstores this fall! Check the new web site out here, and let our publicity department know if you see any broken links or misbegotten typing!

(And if you don't get it by now, Alan is the publicity department.)

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Celery banned at British ballpark

In my favorite sports story of the day, supporters of English soccer powerhouse Chelsea F.C. have been forbidden from bringing celery - yes, the vegetable - into the stadium. From the Guardian article:

Chelsea have banned celery from Stamford Bridge and ordered fans to stop throwing it during matches after the Football Association launched an investigation into instances of salad tossing at their recent matches.

"Salad tossing." I love it.

Says the article:

Blues fans have been bringing the vegetable to games for over two decades in homage to their terrace chant 'Celery', but the club reminded them today that throwing the vegetable was, in fact a criminal offence.

And what's this "terrace chant" the Chelsea fans sing during the game?

Celery, Celery,

If she don't come,

I'll tickle her bum,

With a lump of celery.

That's it. What that has to do with soccer, or Chelsea, or anything, really, I have no idea. I just think it's hysterical that something as innocuous as celery is now banned from the stadium. But the Chelsea club is serious. Here's a posting on their web site:

The throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record. In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban.

They even offer a hotline for fans to narc on other fans who smuggle celery into the game. Priceless.

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Two New Lists for Samurai Shortstop!

It's that time of year - when the "Best of 2006" lists come out for everything. Today I discovered two more "Best of" lists that feature Samurai Shortstop.

First, the 2006 CCBC Choices: New Books for Children and Young Adults recommended by the Cooperative Children's Book Center (CCBC) from the School of Education at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. (Whew, that's a mouthful.) The CCBC organizes recommended titles by subject or genre, and Samurai Shortstop is listed as one of their 39 recommended "Fiction for Young Adults." Thanks guys!

Samurai has also been recognized as one of 100 Librarians' Choices 2006 by Library Science students at Texas Women's University. They do half picture books, half novels - so Samurai Shortstop is among the fifty novels they selected to highlight from last year. Thank you librarians at TWU!

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Books: Victory

Tonight I finished Susan Cooper's Victory, which shared a place with Samurai Shortstop on the Washington Times' Top Ten Books for Children 2006. Victory takes place in the present with Molly, a displaced British teenager struggling to accept her new life and step-family in America, and in the past with Sam, a powder monkey on Admiral Nelson's HMS Victory during the Battle of Trafalgar.

I picked this book up because I've recently become interested in Nelson, Trafalgar, and the Victory - in particular the rousing command he gave by coded flags to the sailors throughout the fleet in the minutes before the battle: "England expects that every man will do his duty." In this regard the book certainly doesn't disappoint. The scenes from the 1800s are vivid and visceral, with tremendous detail that never overwhelms or feels forced.

More worrisome for me were the modern day chapters that alternated with the history--I had trouble getting as worked up over Molly's smaller family story, and early on wished the book was only about Sam and the Victory. I shouldn't have doubted the Newbery-winning Susan Cooper though; she knows how to weave a wonderful novel. By the end, Molly's story is just as urgent and riveting as Sam's, and of course the two are inextricably and believably linked in complex ways that don't, thankfully, involve any element of real time travel.

Victory is a fantastic fiction introduction to life in Nelson's navy, and a supremely-crafted tale of love, loss and, well...victory.

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Wendi's New Web Site Goes Live

In my other job as the Gratz Industries webmaster, I've been hard at work on a long-overdue web site for Wendi and her quilting. I'm happy to announce that the wait is over! www.wendigratz.com v 1.0 is now live! Please go and check out her recent quilting projects, and "kick the tires" by letting us know if there are any broken links, missing images, or typo-s lurking about.

One of the things I'm most proud of is learning how to have the main image on the front page randomly selected from a cache of images each time you reload. Give it a whirl - hit refresh once the home page has loaded, and you should see another pic - unless you've unluckily drawn the same pic. (There are only nine or so images right now, so chances are good you'll see some more than once.)

Wendi's just begun to send her work out to galleries, and some of her designs will be featured in Simple Contemporary Quilts, due from Lark Books this summer. It was high time we got her a web site up and working!

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Wardrobe Refashion

I signed up for another 6-month pledge at Wardrobe Refashion. People are making some very cool stuff over there. Check it out.

The Pledge

• I, Wendi Gratz, pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 / 4 / 6 months. I pledge that I shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoated, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that my thriftyness brings!

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I Am the Buttonhole Master!

A little creative addition to the facing and I fixed the horrible "these pieces absolutely will not fit together" disaster that was the back of this jersey. Whew! Then on to the dreaded buttonholes. Dreaded no longer! Never again will I pass up a pattern because it requires buttons. I am the master! Or mistress, I guess, though that doesn't have nearly the same ring. How did I do it? By bypassing the buttonhole stitch on my machine and faking it with various-widthed and carefully-placed satin stitching. I should have taken a close up - they are beautiful, I tell ya! Instead all I have are these full shots of the finished jersey.





You know what I love most about it? It doesn't look remotely handmade. I was so happy that I attempted to make a hat. Yep. An old-fashioned-looking baseball cap with a very short brim. There was a cap pattern in my new copy of Saturday Night Hat, but the crown looked too tall and the brim was too deep so I adjusted it to make a hat that's almost right. The very top of the crown isn't as smooth as I'd like but it's not too bad.

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Girl on Film, Part Two

I think I've got this saving and uploading thing down now. Here are two more episodes of "Five-thirty Jo." Every day around five-thirty in the afternoon, a switch is flipped inside Jo and she moves and talks non-stop. These clips, which we've dubbed the "Five-thirty Jo" series, were not staged or encouraged - I just turned the video camera on for part of the afternoon, and this is what I got. She's like this EVERY DAY at 5:30 p.m., right when Wendi and I are the most tired and frazzled . . .

Five-thirty Jo: Power Juice



Five-thirty Jo: Sharpers



And see the earlier post for episode one - Five-thirty Jo: Soda Girl. "Oh yeah."

More to come...

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Mudville 9

Alan wants to be a superhero, so I'm making him a costume. It's for Mighty Casey from the poem Casey at the Bat, so I guess it fits in with my Fantasy Baseball Jerseys series. If I make more than one, it's a series - right?

I have no pattern for this, but Alan has several jerseys and we picked the one with the most old-fashioned cut. I did a tracing to create a pattern, just like I did with Jo's Wonderland Hearts jersey. Jo's Tennessee jersey is new and synthetic so it behaved very well for the tracing. Alan's jersey is old, stretched out and baggy in places, and a more complicated pattern. It did not behave very well, but I finally got a pattern.

Off to the fabric store to search for just the right old-fashioned baseball jersey fabric. No pinstripe fabric to be found? No problem. I can sew in some pinstripes and they look very cool and old. Alan saw me sewing these without marking the lines first and thought I was magic - for just a few minutes. Then he saw the nifty quilting bar that let me make nice straight lines.














Next step - stitching on the Mudville and the 9 on the back. Lovely! No skipped stitches. I'm having a great day and everything is looking good.



















Finally - putting the thing together. The sleeve construction is weird and something I've never done before, but it seems to work. Things don't exactly line up under the arms and the front ends up 1/2 inch shorter than the back, but I get Alan to try it on at every step in the construction and my fixes all seem to work. I can't believe it's working!














Spoken too soon. The facing doesn't fit. The last @%#! step and the facing doesn't fit. I'm sure all the tiny adjustments I had to make while sewing have accumulated to make the back too wide. I'm very frustrated. I'm snapping at Jo and Alan keeps asking gently if there's anything he can do. I decide I've had enough for the day and quit.

So now it's Sunday - a new day and I think I know how I'm going to (try to) fix this. And if I do get it fixed I get to do buttonholes. I love, love, love my machine but it does NOT handle buttonholes well. We'll see how today goes.

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Girl on Film

We recently acquired a digital video camera, and today Jo and I have been experimenting with it. Here's our first rough attempt at a movie:



Edit: My previous attempt was saved in a format not supported by YouTube. I've since re-saved the file, and it looks like it has been loaded. Enjoy!

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